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Funeral poemsCongratulations to you

Congratulations to you

Reading time: 25 seconds

Funny Modern Non-religious Plain English Unusual

Lucas Jones · 2025

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Congratulations to you

Lucas Jones · 2025

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What Serany thinks about this poem

Funny Modern Non-religious Plain English Unusual

Meaning

Congratulations, he says, not to your parents but to you: you grew up not racist, mostly not deceitful, often lazy, always counting your blessings. You do not believe in God but you manage the substance of it. There was that time you were genuinely cruel, and you are probably forgiven.

Who's it for

A decent, lazy, forgiven, non-religious person. Right for a service that wants to be fond of somebody rather than solemn about them.

Lucas Jones

British · Around 30 years old

@lucassjoness

@lucasthejones

linktr.ee/lucassjoness

Lucas Jones is an actor and a poet. He grew up in Huntingdon in a pentecostal family, moved house seven times before he was fourteen, and lives in London now. He started putting poems on the internet in 2023 and more than a million people follow him.

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More funny poems

9 in all

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After he died, they pulled up his stats

This poem is for a man who was ordinary, flawed and much loved. Right for a service that wants to laugh and does not want him made into a saint.

FunnyModern

2025

40 sec

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

Hear Lucas Jones read it on TikTok.

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Bus Shelter

This poem is for someone who thought the fuss about dying was a bit much. Right for a commuter, a queuer, anyone who spent their life waiting patiently for things.

FunnyModern

2015

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God said knock knock

This poem is for someone who was funny and never settled the God question. Right for a service that wants permission to laugh.

FunnyModern

2026

2 min

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

Hear Lucas Jones read it on TikTok.

More about this poem →

I met God at the supermarket

This poem is for somebody who ran out of time with things left to do. Right for a service the family want the room to leave in a hurry to go and live.

FunnyModern

2026

2 min

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

Hear Lucas Jones read it on TikTok.

More about this poem →

In the Departure Lounge

This poem is for someone whose last words to you were about nothing at all. Right for a family who keep going back over an ordinary conversation they didn't know was the last one.

FunnyModern

2015

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On His Books

This poem is for someone who would have hated a solemn funeral and told a joke at their own. Right for a reader, a writer, or a cheerful rogue.

For a writerFunny

1923

10 sec

The man who died at his desk job

This poem is for a colleague, read by the workmate who had lunch with him. Right for a service full of people who only knew him from the office and liked him anyway.

FunnyModern

2025

35 sec

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

Hear Lucas Jones read it on TikTok.

More about this poem →

When I'm Gone

This poem is for someone who'd have laughed at being called an inspiration. Right for a dad, a grandad, or anyone who was better at the washing up than the big gestures.

FunnyModern

2015

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

More about this poem →

More unusual poems

43 in all

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Adulthood

This poem is for a family who feel something at a funeral and have no words for it. Right for a room that is not religious and is not comfortable saying so either.

ComfortingModern

2024

50 sec

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

Hear Lucas Jones read it on TikTok.

More about this poem →

After he died, they pulled up his stats

This poem is for a man who was ordinary, flawed and much loved. Right for a service that wants to laugh and does not want him made into a saint.

FunnyModern

2025

40 sec

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

Hear Lucas Jones read it on TikTok.

More about this poem →

Afterlife

This poem is for a child's funeral, or a family who want somewhere hopeful to put the question without naming a religion. It is playful on purpose.

For a childModern

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

More about this poem →

Afterparty

This poem is for a family being swallowed by the ugly end of grief. It tells them what the anger is made of without asking them to feel better yet.

ComfortingModern

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

More about this poem →

Are you winning

This poem is for a nurse, a carer, or anybody who worked in the room where people die. Right for a service full of colleagues who did the same job.

ModernPlain English

2026

1 min

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

Hear Lucas Jones read it on TikTok.

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Because I could not stop for Death

This poem is for someone unhurried, who took things as they came and was never frightened of what was ahead.

A classicGentle

1890

50 sec

Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me; The carriage held but just ourselves And Immortality. We slowly drove, he knew no haste, And I had put away My labor, and my leisure too, For his civility. We passed the school where children played, Their lessons scarcely done; We passed the fields of gazing grain, We passed the setting sun. We paused before a house that seemed A swelling of the ground; The roof was scarcely visible, The cornice but a mound. Since then 't is centuries; but each Feels shorter than the day I first surmised the horses' heads Were toward eternity.

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Boys and their dads

This poem is for a father and son who got it almost right. Right for a service where a man is going to have to stand up and talk about his dad.

For a fatherModern

2026

2 min

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

Hear Lucas Jones read it on TikTok.

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chasing ceremony/convincing myself

This poem is for somebody who loved them and cannot be in the room. Right where a brother is abroad, a sister is too ill to travel, or the person who knew them longest is the one who has to watch on a screen.

ModernNon-religious

2021

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

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Dead family visiting room

This poem is for someone who was never tidy and was all heart. Right for a family who would rather laugh about the shelf than pretend it got done.

GentleModern

2024

25 sec

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

Hear Lucas Jones read it on TikTok.

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Death, be not proud

This poem is for a believer, and a family who want something with some fight in it rather than a quiet goodbye. It suits a person who argued back all their life.

A classicReligious

1633

55 sec

Death, be not proud, though some have callèd thee Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so: For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow Die not, poor Death; nor yet canst thou kill me. From Rest and Sleep, which but thy picture be, Much pleasure, then from thee much more must flow; And soonest our best men with thee do go-- Rest of their bones and souls' delivery! Thou'rt slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men, And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell; And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well And better than thy stroke. Why swell'st thou then? One short sleep past, we wake eternally, And Death shall be no more: Death, thou shalt die!

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Death's probably a gift

This poem is for a family who want comfort without religion. Right after a long life, or a long illness that was fought hard.

ModernNon-religious

2026

2 min

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

Hear Lucas Jones read it on TikTok.

More about this poem →

Dirge Without Music

This poem is for a family who are angry about it and would rather not pretend otherwise. Right for a death that makes no sense to anyone who knew them.

ModernNon-religious

1928

1 min

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground. So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind: Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned. Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you. Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust. A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew, A formula, a phrase remains,—but the best is lost. The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,— They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve. More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses of the world. Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.

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More non-religious poems

60 in all

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Afterlife

This poem is for a child's funeral, or a family who want somewhere hopeful to put the question without naming a religion. It is playful on purpose.

For a childModern

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

More about this poem →

Afterparty

This poem is for a family being swallowed by the ugly end of grief. It tells them what the anger is made of without asking them to feel better yet.

ComfortingModern

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

More about this poem →

Afterwards

This poem is for someone who noticed things other people walked straight past. Right for a gardener, a birdwatcher, or anyone who was kind to animals.

GentleNon-religious

1917

2 min

When the Present has latched its postern behind my tremulous stay, And the May month flaps its glad green leaves like wings, Delicate-filmed as new-spun silk, will the neighbours say, "He was a man who used to notice such things"? If it be in the dusk when, like an eyelid's soundless blink, The dewfall-hawk comes crossing the shades to alight Upon the wind-warped upland thorn, a gazer may think, "To him this must have been a familiar sight." If I pass during some nocturnal blackness, mothy and warm, When the hedgehog travels furtively over the lawn, One may say, "He strove that such innocent creatures should come to no harm, But he could do little for them; and now he is gone"? If, when hearing that I have been stilled at last, they stand at the door, Watching the full-starred heavens that winter sees, Will this thought rise on those who will meet my face no more, "He was one who had an eye for such mysteries"? And will any say when my bell of quittance is heard in the gloom, And a crossing breeze cuts a pause in its outrollings, Till they rise again, as they were a new bell's boom, "He hears it not now, but used to notice such things"?

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Again

This poem is for anyone in the first terrible weeks who has caught themselves wishing they had never met. It is the answer to that thought.

ComfortingModern

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

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All At Once

This poem is for a family who feel they are grieving wrongly, especially anyone who caught themselves laughing. It tells them nothing has gone wrong.

ComfortingModern

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

More about this poem →

Barter

This poem is for a person who got a lot out of being alive: weather, music, food, their children's faces. Right where a family want the funeral to be about the living they did.

Non-religiousNot about death

1917

50 sec

Life has loveliness to sell, All beautiful and splendid things, Blue waves whitened on a cliff, Soaring fire that sways and sings, And children's faces looking up Holding wonder like a cup. Life has loveliness to sell, Music like a curve of gold, Scent of pine trees in the rain, Eyes that love you, arms that hold, And for your spirit's still delight, Holy thoughts that star the night. Spend all you have for loveliness, Buy it and never count the cost; For one white singing hour of peace Count many a year of strife well lost, And for a breath of ecstasy Give all you have been, or could be.

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chasing ceremony/convincing myself

ModernNon-religious

2021

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Chasing Tomorrow

This poem is for a family who keep saying they wish they had had more time. It turns that into a resolution instead of a regret.

ModernNon-religious

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

More about this poem →

Death stands above me

This poem is for a family who do not believe in anything particular and would rather not pretend they do. Right for someone who was not afraid at the end.

ComfortingGentle

1853

15 sec

Death's probably a gift

This poem is for a family who want comfort without religion. Right after a long life, or a long illness that was fought hard.

ModernNon-religious

2026

2 min

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

Hear Lucas Jones read it on TikTok.

More about this poem →

Dirge Without Music

This poem is for a family who are angry about it and would rather not pretend otherwise. Right for a death that makes no sense to anyone who knew them.

ModernNon-religious

1928

1 min

Read the whole poem →

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep

This poem is for almost anyone, honestly. It's best of all for someone who was always outside: out walking, in the garden, never in the house.

A classicComforting

1934

We are not licensed to show this poem here. You can still read it aloud at a funeral.

More about this poem →

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