Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep
Mary Elizabeth Frye · 1932
Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep
Mary Elizabeth Frye · 1932
This poem's text is not reproduced here. What it says, when it was written and how it came to be read at funerals are facts about the work rather than the work itself.
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What Serany thinks about this poem
Background
Frye was a Baltimore housewife with no history of writing poetry. In 1932 a young German Jewish woman staying with her could not go home to her dying mother, and Frye wrote the lines for her on a torn-off paper bag. It circulated for decades unsigned, which is why it is often printed as anonymous or credited to a Native American prayer; Frye's authorship was only firmly established in the late 1990s. It was read on the first anniversary of the September 11 attacks, and in Britain it topped a Bookworm poll of the nation's favourite poems in 1995.
Meaning
It tells you not to grieve at a graveside, because the person you are looking for is not there. They are the wind, the snow, the sunlight on corn, the birds going over. The last line says plainly that they did not die. It is the most read funeral poem in Britain and its appeal is that it refuses the grave entirely.
Who's it for
It suits almost any death and that is why it is everywhere: no religion to agree with, nothing to explain, and it works read by someone whose voice is going. It is strongest for a person who was happiest outdoors. Be aware the room may have heard it at the last three funerals they went to, which for some families is the comfort and for others is the reason to pick something else.
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